A few weeks ago I was blindsided by a huge unexpected wave of emotion that ended with me doing an ugly cry in the parking lot of my son’s summer camp. I suddenly realized I was inches away from a huge roots and wings moment in parenting. I’m sending my son off to kindergarten! I’m trusting others to help guide him and teach him. I’m saying one more goodbye to add to the pile of those life moments I’ve made with the boy who made me a mom.
I knew it was coming. I wrote about it back in 2010…
“Parenting is filled with these moments of melancholy. When we gave birth to our beautiful children we all knew parenting wasn’t going to be easy, and that it would have many tough moments. But I know I personally didn’t expect being a parent to be such a mixed bag of emotions. That with every big (and little) accomplishment or stage our child enters there would be sadness in letting go.”
I’m so proud of him that he’s so excited and ready to start school, but I also think its okay to feel sad about such a happy moment. For the past five years he’s been with me nearly every day for hours on end. Starting school feels like and is such a big milestone. It means that your child is ready to separate from you and spread his wings a little bit. So while I feel confident that he’s fully prepared for this moment, the letting go doesn’t always come easily.
Admittedly, I take comfort in the fact that when school is over my boy is still little enough to want to crawl up into my lap with his bunny and snuggle while we read books before bed. That he still needs me to kiss his boo-boos, and help him understand his emotions like the sadness associated with one of his best friends moving across the country. That he comes to me with his super creative artwork, and that I’m the first one he wants to tell his silly jokes to – even if they often include something about farts or butts… These are the gifts of motherhood. It’s milestones and moments like this that help remind me that our moments together are fleeting but the roots we are creating are strong ones.
Each stage of motherhood feels significant because it is. Our jobs are constantly evolving, and it is okay to cry. So to all the moms who will be doing an ugly cry in a parking lot after dropping of their child at school, I will be there with you shedding happy tears. Letting go isn’t as easy as it sounds, but the gift of watching our children grow up is the best one any mother can ask for.
If you are a parent who has been there and done that already, what advice would you share with a parent letting go of one more big life moments?
A note on the artwork: I asked my favorite designer to put my favorite motherhood quote onto something I could hang on my wall as an everyday reminder. I love what she came up with. The red birds not only symbolize my children, but also my own mother.
Latest posts by Emily (Posts)
- Don’t Call It A Comeback - February 7, 2019
- The Little Prince at The Smith Center Las Vegas – Ticket Giveaway - January 31, 2017
- 3 Simple Ways To Add Color To Your Diet @SUBWAY @OfficialSubway - January 13, 2017
- Disney’s Moana in Dolby Cinema at AMC Movie Review - November 27, 2016
I can relate. My son is 4 years old and going into the “big kids” classroom at school. He’s becoming so much more independent which is a weird feeling.
It got easier for me when I saw him excited as he talked to me about his day. When he was eager to go to school in the morning to see his teacher and friends. When they love it and start and we see how much they are enjoying it……it starts to get easier then.
What a cutie! We aren’t parents yet, but I can imagine I will certainly react the same way as you. Joyful tears mixed with a little sadness that they are growing up.
I love the saying..it is says it all. The hardest part of being a parent is giving them wings at each stage of their life. As they grow the wings turn into support and understanding – which is key to ensure they keep on flying!
I was actually in tears about 2 weeks ago because my oldest is growing up so fast and it’s breaking my heart. I want him to need me for the stuff he used to, but the fact is – he doesn’t anymore. Sniff.
I don’t really have advice because every mom is different, and deals with the situations differently and *I* tend to be overly emotional about everything and try to be involved in everything. It’s never easy having them grow, and want to do things alone and go off to school alone… and it’s never easy when they are big enough to not need us AS much anymore!
We are getting ready to hit a big milestone here. Our daughter will be 18 soon. Who knows how long before she moves out and we are empty nesters!
18!! That is a HUGE milestone! Congrats mama and ((Hugs))!
I completely understand crying when your little one goes to kindergarten. I didn’t cry when I sent him to preschool but I sure cried when I took him to kindergarten. I did do better when I took him to first grade. But he is still my baby.
With Preschool I felt like it was something fun, and certainly not permanent. With Kindergarten I feel like it’s so REAL!
Awww…I am not a mother, so I can’t offer any advice on letting go, BUT, I am a kindergarten teacher. Been teaching for the last nine years and every single year there are moms who find it hard on that first day of school. The only thing I can say is that no matter how old they get, they will always need you. They may not know it or show it, but they do. We all do. It’s a gift to watch them grow up…cherish that and know that he is in capable hands. Good luck on that first day. 🙂
Thank you Tami. That actually was very helpful. I appreciate it!
He is so cute, I think it is harder on us than it is on them. I volunteered a lot at my sons school so I could check on him. He will be 18 in a month and will be off to college. I have no doubt some tears will be shed again.
Thanks Catherine. 18! Oh man I just know college isn’t going to be easy for me either. Good luck mama!
It was so hard to send my oldest to Kindergarten. He’s in 4th grade now, but I think it will be harder next year when I send my baby to kindergarten .
I don’t want to think about my baby going to Kinder!! 🙁 Thank you Janell hope your 4th grader has a great year!
I just got transition paperwork (my daughter is in an Early Intervention program) for kindergarten, and I’m losing my mind. I wish you all the best this year!
Thank you Chelley! Yay for paperwork! I know that can certainly take a bit of time sometimes. We are 6 weeks waiting to get my younger son therapy.
Oh my gosh, this all seems so far away! Our daughter isn’t even one yet….but I feel like it will be here in the blink of an eye!
Before you know it I cringe writing that, as I always did when people said it to me… but I say it with love not as a reminder. I don’t think there is a single parent who doesn’t know how quickly it goes…
I was just crying talking to my husband about tomorrow. I cannot believe how fast these 5 years have gone!! Good luck at school K!!
Thanks Lauren. Hope C does well today too!
ahhh so so so hard.
I LET GO SO WHEN SHE RETURNS IT’S BY CHOICE.
xo
Yes, and she does. Just like he will. <3
When we give our children wings and roots, we prepare them for the world. My children surprised me because theyadapted to running around the new school, the teachers and the workload more quickly than I did.
I think that’s true. They are really able to adapt quickly. I wonder at what age that starts to change and adapting gets hard?
What a big moment! My sister sent her first off to kindergarten today! It’s crazy how fast time flies!
I can so relate too. My second oldest starts kinder this week. Such a mixed bag of emotions! 🙁
I still have a while before I have to do this with my oldest, but I know I’ll be happy and sad. They really do grow up so fast!!
My baby turns TWO this week. I know that things will change as he is older but I can relate!
I’ve been investigating colleges for my senior. Yes I’ll really be letting go next year. sniff.
Kindergarten can be a scary time for moms as well as the kids. My son is entering his first year of College and i cant believe how fast time has flown by.
I was really surprised by how emotional I was when I sent my oldest to Kindergarten and now my youngest will start next week. Oy! It’s amazing to watch them grow up – so happy but also so sad that they are ticking off all these milestones so quickly!
What a big milestone for both of you. I really like that quote, by the way.