Our Knight Life

A Letter To My Son on His First Birthday

Emily — Fri, 06 Dec 2013 21:40:21 +0000

Dear Baby D,

My sweet little mama’s boy. How fast this past year went! They say that time flies when you are having fun, and you have certainly proved that rule. It’s funny now to look at you and wonder how on earth you haven’t been part of my life longer, but the truth is I think you may have always been a part of my life. I think it’s very fitting that you were born in December as you really are a true gift.

When I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be a mother. When I became a mom, the love I felt for your brother (and feel for your brother) was so big it hurt at times. I often looked at him when I was pregnant with you and wondered how on earth I could possibly love another little person as much and as deeply as I loved him. I didn’t know where I would find room for more love.

God knew.

You see I don’t think you find room, I think there is a space that is already there, empty, waiting for you to fill it up. On your birth day I was blessed with two amazing gifts. The first gift came the instant you were placed onto my chest. In that moment what I can remember feeling the most was this amazing warmth spreading through my whole body. My love for you filled a space equal to your brothers with a love so intense, so palpable I feel it with each beating rhythm.

I will never forget on the day you were born your brother came to the hospital to meet the baby he had lovingly called “Monster Truck” for the first time. Do you know he used to talk to you in my belly? He would talk of wanting to teach you to play cars, and read books. He used to drive cars over my belly pretending he was already playing with you. He even kept an ultrasound picture in his room so that he could see you and dream about you before you came. That day he met you for the first time you gave me my second gift.

I watched him slowly walk into the room asking where you were, and walk over to your bassinet. His eyes danced with excitement, and as he put his hands on the metal railing to peer over to see you for the first time the warmth that I felt when you were placed on my chest was back. I watched as your brother fell instantly in love with your small squeaky little self. I had spent the past three and a half years in love with that boy, but watching him as he saw you for the first time was like falling in love with my first baby all over again.

I was a mother to two amazing and special little boys and I knew then you would bring joy wherever you went.

And boy oh boy are you full of joy. Everyone loves to comment on how happy of a baby you are, how sweet and loving you are. I’ve watched as you have charmed a smile from even the most sour of people as we are out and about. I’ve soaked in the moments you laugh and giggle with your brother. Seeing your love grow and blossom has brought more joy to me then I could ever even express.

Your curiosity and precociousness keep me on my toes. Admittedly I thought that I would have a lot of been there done that what with you being my second little boy, but just as I was surprised by the instantaneous love I felt on the day you were born, I am always surprised by the unique outlook and joy you have. Everyday you surprise me, delight me, teach me, and inspire me.

I once heard another mother say “Happy Birth Day” referring to the day that was not only a child’s birthday, but the day that they family was blessed with new life. Your birth day will always remind me of the birth of my second son who taught me that life is is bigger than what you think you know and full of surprises. Thank you sweet boy for brightening our days with your joyful soul.

I love you forever and always.

Xoxxo, Mama

GHTime Code(s):

Birth Stories From Real Moms: Home Birth After Hospital Birth

Emily — Mon, 21 Oct 2013 05:45:26 +0000

In September to celebrate the National Improving Birth Rally held across the US I decided to share real birth stories from real moms all week on my blog. I had such a wonderful response that I’ve decided to make it a continued monthly feature. Each month (as long as I have submissions) I will continue to share beautiful birth stories! You can submit your birth story (please include 1-3 pictures) at familyandlifeinlv@gmail.com.

Olivia’s Birth Story:

I have precipitous labors. My first baby was born on a gurney in a hospital examination room – not the relaxed, comfortable private home birth I had imagined and planned for. I call it my accidental hospital birth. My midwife was at the hospital attending another delivery, and she asked me to stop by for an “early” labor assessment. My baby girl was born 20 minutes after I arrived.

But this is the story of my second child’s delivery and my first successful home birth. On the morning of Friday, August 10, 2012, I woke up with some mild contractions. Hubs and I visited Anne, our midwife, in her office. She examined me and told me I had a multips OS and she couldn’t tell if the baby would be coming that day or in two weeks. I had a strong feeling that the baby would be coming that day though, so I asked Chris to stay home from work. Together we watched almost the whole season of Freaks and Geeks that day. We didn’t know this baby’s gender, and I remember thinking that it wouldn’t be long until I’d find out!

The midwife came by at lunch time to check my cervix again, but there was no change from the morning. She came over again around 7:00 pm, and again there was no change. I had been experiencing mild contractions every 7-10 minutes and cramping all day, so at that point I decided I was going to take a more active role and help the baby come. I started pacing around the house and rocking on the yoga ball.

Around 11:20 pm, I suddenly felt a very hard contraction. Was this finally real labor? After a second strong contraction four minutes later, Chris called the midwife to come. Then he phoned his mother to come and pick up our toddler. The plan was for her to spend the night at Grandma’s.

I went upstairs, and the contractions started coming faster and stronger. Back then, our daughter’s bed was still in our bedroom. She slept through the first few moans, but I was afraid she’d wake up and be scared at seeing me in pain. Everything was moving so quickly! Within 20 minutes, I could feel transition coming on but neither my mother-in-law nor the midwife had arrived yet!

Between contractions, I gasped out that I was going to have to push soon. Where was the midwife? Chris told me later that he started mentally preparing to deliver the baby himself if Anne didn’t arrive in time. Luckily, both Anne and my mother-in-law arrived at the house right then, saving him from having to become an emergency midwife. Chris grabbed the midwife’s bags and practically chased her up the stairs to our bedroom. When Anne finally came in, she took a look and matter-of-factually said, “Oh yes, there’s the bag of waters.”

I felt an unstoppable urge to push, and I could feel the bag bulging out. Anne got on the phone with the second midwife to tell her to come now. All of a sudden I felt completely alone. Hubs was still downstairs bringing in the midwife’s gear and putting our daughter in his mother’s car. I wanted him with me right away! That was the only moment I felt overwhelmed and panicky. I felt a sudden surge of anxiety, and for a few seconds I was worried that everybody had forgotten about me. I remember shouting to Anne, “Do something!”

Chris came back into the room and Anne passed him the phone to give the second midwife directions to our house. She patted my arm and told me everything would be fine. Anne broke my amniotic sac at that point. Chris held my hand and assured me that I could do this, and I felt okay again.

I continued pushing for about 5 minutes but wasn’t making as much progress as expected. The baby moved down well while I was pushing, and I was able to touch the head for the first time, but as soon as I stopped bearing down the baby slipped back up the birth canal. The midwife took a closer look and saw that the umbilical cord was on the short side and wrapped around the baby’s neck. During the next contraction she slipped the cord over the baby’s head, clearing the way to come out. I think it was at this point the second midwife arrived, having let herself in the unlocked door, but it’s all a little fuzzy.

At 12:25 a.m. on August 11, 2012, Keira slipped out and into Chris’ arms. He looked at me with tears running down his face and proudly announced, “She’s a girl!” Tears filled my own eyes as I held out my arms for my beautiful, healthy little girl. She was so pink and wriggly. She cried, and then the very next thing she did was poop on me. I held Keira in my arms while Chris cut her umbilical cord.

I had a small tear that needed a few stitches. You’d think after everything that had just happened down there, a few stitches would be no big deal. But I hated it. I really wanted to focus on my new baby, and I couldn’t do that properly with both midwives discussing the best way to sew me up like I was a shirt was a popped seam. I remember I couldn’t stop shivering despite it being August in the middle of a heat wave, and I just wanted to curl up under the blankets. I hadn’t eaten much all day so Chris brought me some peanut butter on toast and I started to feel a bit less shaky.

Once I was all put back together, Keira latched on and breastfed for the first time like a pro. We nursed and rested in bed together while the midwives cleaned up and did their paperwork. They left about three hours after Keira’s birth, and she spent her first night in this big, wide world snuggled up, safe and loved, with her mommy and daddy.

The next morning Keira met her big sister and her grandma for the first time. They both held her and marveled at how small and perfect she was. My oldest seemed pretty excited to see the baby, but I don’t think she quite realized Keira was coming to live with us forever!

I feel blessed that everything went so smoothly and according to my ideal birth plan. My delivery with my first baby was under two hours, so I was pretty sure that this baby was also going to come quickly. I felt so much better prepared the second time around, and the pain was much easier to manage this time too. While it was intense, I knew it would be over quickly. My healing and recuperation time was noticeably quicker this time as well.

During my pregnancies with both of my girls, I researched my birth options, safety outcomes, and the relative risks and benefits of each. As a low-risk pregnancy within minutes of a specialized pediatric and maternity hospital, I felt safe and comfortable in my own bed and in my own home. My personal perspective is that hospitals are for when I’m sick or injured, and I wasn’t either of those things. Barring any complications that would make me reassess the risk/benefit ratio, I would definitely choose a home birth again.

Find Olivia at This West Coast Mommy where she blogs about her family, natural parenting, green living, product reviews and giveaways, paleo-friendly recipes, and life on the Canadian West Coast. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.

GHTime Code(s):

Aimee’s HELLP Birth Story

Emily — Fri, 06 Sep 2013 16:09:10 +0000

Am I the only one who cries reading other people’s birth stories? Today’s story comes from Aimee who has her own blog – Momma Needs Some Coffee. I think her story is one that too many women have, but a great reminder that you HAVE to listen to your gut! “Mom Instincts” are real, and they start prior to giving birth!

Don’t forget to catch up on all this week’s birth stories (links below) and come back for the final two stories of this week’s Improving Birth features. (I am going to be continuing to share stories each month for as long as I have stories submitted to share! You can submit your birth story (please include 1-3 pictures) at familyandlifeinlv@gmail.com)

Below is Aimee’s Birth Story:

There is something so therapeutic about sharing a birth story. In a world where everyone talks about their “perfect” births and healthy babies, and their natural birth plans that will be followed at all costs, it can be disheartening to look back at your own frightening experience and wonder, “What if?” When I was pregnant with my oldest (now 3), I researched EVERYTHING. I read everything I could about car seats, sleeping, circumcision, vaccines, you name it, I had Googled it to death and bought every book out there. I was put on bed rest at 24 weeks due to preterm labor, so I had plenty of time on my hands! The one thing that never crossed my mind though was a birth plan. I scoffed at the women on the forums discussing birth plans and couldn’t understand what they were so up in arms about. In my mind, it was simple. I would go to the hospital when my contractions were close together or my water broke, get an epidural, and everything would be great! My husband’s whole family wanted to be there, sure, why not? I’ll be in Happy Land with my epidural, so I won’t mind! They say your best-laid plans are not God’s, and I was about to find out how true that was.

Around the same time that the preterm labor started, I also began spilling protein. I was hyper-alert to the signs of preeclampsia, as my mom had nearly died with me and had been on hospital bedrest and induced early with my brother. My OB, however, kept insisting there was no problem. At 35 weeks, I began experiencing what can only be described as The Worst Headache of My Entire Life. Coming from a chronic migraine sufferer who has had some epic ones, that should have been the first red-flag. I returned to my OB over and over, but since my blood pressure was not staying elevated, he would give me Demerol and send me home. This continued for TWO WEEKS. In my heart, I knew something wasn’t right, but I felt trapped and helpless to do anything about it. My husband had been laid off right before we found out I was pregnant, so I was lucky to even have an OB at all. Right before I hit 34 weeks, after 8 months of searching, he had began a new job with a Department of Defense contractor in Las Vegas, 4 hours away from home in California. I was trying to convince myself I was overreacting and that nothing was wrong. The day I reached 37 weeks, I was back at Labor and Delivery insisting to the doctor that something just didn’t feel right. That morning, instead of just brushing me off, he had the nerve to play to my anxieties, telling me that it was “my choice”, but if he induced me, there was no doubt it would end in a c-section. He then turned around and told my mom(who also couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong) that he thought I was “faking” because I was tired of being pregnant.

At that moment, my mom’s own inner “Momma Bear” took over, and she gathered me up, walked me out of that hospital, and started making calls. She called the OBGYN she and I had seen years before while still covered on my dad’s insurance, and begged them to take cash if she could see me that day for a second opinion. In what I cannot possibly believe was anything but God’s plan, they told my mom that she was on-call at the hospital next door and to take me in right away. By this point, I was convinced I was going to once again be told I was overreacting, so when my husband asked if he needed to head back to California, I told him of course not, they were just going to send me home. Imagine his surprise when my mom called less than 2 hours later and told him to come back immediately. The new OB had immediately done blood work and found that I was in the early stages of HELLP, and needed to deliver as soon as possible.

All at once, I went from wanting to deliver because I knew something was wrong to being terrified of the actual process. I wasn’t ready for the contractions, wasn’t ready to push, and most importantly, wasn’t ready to actually BE a mom. I settled in, and they started the pitocin while I waited for Rian to make the 4 hour drive from Vegas. He walked in right as they were breaking my water around midnight, along with the rest of his family. That was also right about the time things started to get real. The pain was intense, and I was begging for an epidural, anesthesia, anything to make it stop! I couldn’t remember the breathing exercises from the childbirth class, and I was beating myself up over and over. Why did I ignore all the suggestions to take Bradley method or Hypnobirthing? I would know what to do right now! Then I would tell myself I just had to get through 2 more centimeters, then sweet relief would come in the form of an epidural. That 2 centimeters took all night. At 5:30, they finally relented and brought the anesthesiologist in. By 6am, I was sleeping peacefully, having long since kicked everyone out of my room in a pain-induced rage. Unfortunately, the relief was short-lived, and by 8:30, I was once again wishing I was better prepared. The epidural that had taken so well at 5:30 was already worn off, and I was told there was nothing they could do. By 10:30, when I began pushing, it was as if I had never had one at all, and I had no idea how to cope with the pain. I was a wreck, trying desperately to keep myself together and focus on what I needed to do. My husband and mom did their best to stay calm for me, but they were struggling with seeing me in so much pain. At 12:30, the OB decided to let me rest for awhile while I “labored down”, and they finally gave me a small dose of pain medicine in my iv, only because the stress of the pain was causing my blood pressure to rise to dangerous levels on top of the pre-e. At 1, we were back at it again, and I was confident I could get through it. At 1:35, the doctor spotted cord, and told me if I didn’t get my son out on the next contraction, I would be heading to the OR. That must have been the motivation I needed, because in that moment, it was all of a sudden instinctual to me exactly HOW I needed to push, and I got my baby out. But instead of happiness and laughter and those sweet first cries of a new baby, I heard nothing. No cries, no laughter, my mom and Rian trying to keep straight faces. Why wasn’t my baby crying? Didn’t every baby cry at birth? I could tell they were trying to keep me from looking, and I heard the doctor tell Rian to hurry and cut the cord if he wanted to as they whisked Lane off to the NICU. The next hour before they let me go was easily the longest hour of my entire life. No one could tell me what was wrong, no one would let me see my baby. When I finally was allowed into the NICU to see him, all I saw was perfection. Despite the monitors and wires and IVs, my baby boy had his eyes wide open and looking straight at me as he wrapped his tiny hand around my finger. In that moment, it was all worth it.

I now know that the his cord was wrapped multiple times, cutting off his oxygen supply, and that he was white/blue when he was born and it took the NICU team almost 2 minutes to get him to take a breath on his own. Additionally, although I delivered at 37 weeks +1 day(and was absolutely positive of the conception date), due to IUGR(intrauterine growth restriction), an effect of the preeclampsia, he had only developed to about 35 weeks and was born weighing only 5 lbs, 6 ozs.

We were able to come home when he was 1 week old, and today the only lasting effect from everything that happened is some lingering growth issues, although I also believe his Sensory Processing Disorder is related to all of this. His little brother’s birth was MUCH less dramatic, and although I did get an epidural again, I was prepared otherwise and felt much more empowered to make the choices that I felt were right for ME, not trapped into doing what everyone else told me I should do.

Aimee
www.mommaneedssomecoffee.com
Momma to 2 boys, ages 3 and 9 months

Catch Up On All This Week’s Birth Stories!

Why I care about Improving Birth – Including links to both my boy’s birth stories

Elliana’s Home Birth Story

Krista’s Cholestasis Birth Story

2 Boys – 2 Different Labors

GHTime Code(s):

Samantha’s Birth Stories (2 Boys 2 Different Labors)

Samantha — Thu, 05 Sep 2013 17:02:05 +0000

I will start by saying I have two beautiful boys, but my pregnancies were not easy on me. With both my pregnancies I ended up on bed rest by 9 and 7 weeks due to my severe hyperemesis. I was on daily IV’s and Zofran to keep me hydrated and from vomiting constantly. Thankfully by about 20 weeks each time the hyperemesis calmed down and I was able to enjoy the remainder of my pregnancies.

With Jacob (my 4.5 year old) my labor started early on a Friday morning. I had rolled over at about 5:30am and felt a small gush. It wasn’t huge, so I wasn’t convinced that it was my water breaking. So I laid there for a couple more minutes and rolled over again. I felt the small gush again! I quickly woke up my husband and told him I was pretty sure my water was broken and that we needed to get up and to the hospital. I somehow was able to roll over once more and get out of bed and to the bathroom before the huge gush came. My husband even made a comment that I didn’t even get the bed wet! After getting all the last minute things in the hospital bag, and making a few phone calls we were off to the hospital at about 7am.

On our way to the hospital, my husband asked if I cared if he stopped for something to eat, I didn’t as I wasn’t having consistent contractions yet. He encouraged me to get something as well, and I was so glad later that I had listened to him.

We arrived at the hospital around 7:30am, they were pretty busy as I was given the last L&D room available. They did all the normal check in procedures and got me hooked up to check for contractions. They were only coming every 20 or so minutes, so they just let me hang out until one of the nicer rooms opened up to move me to. At around 10am that finally happened and I was moved into the nicer room. Around the same time they started talking about Pitocin because my contractions were still only coming about every 20 minutes if that and I was not making any progress at all. Because my water had broken at home, we were under the 24 hour clock to deliver the baby to avoid the possibility of an infection. I agreed to the Pitocin and by about 11am was hooked up to it. When I was started on it, they put it on the lowest dose possible to see how my body would respond to it. My body would all of a sudden get 4 or 5 contractions on top of each other, so they would have to stop the meds, flush my system out and start over again. The contractions were not getting painful yet, so I was able to just relax and visit with family that had come to see me. Unfortunately it was hospital policy that I couldn’t eat while in labor, so as the day went on, I was getting pretty hungry and was thankful that I listened to my husband and ate something on the way to the hospital!

Around 7pm and shift change my night nurse came in and decided to up the Pitocin to see if that would trick my body into moving along as I was still not progressing very fast. By 7:30 pm I was still only about 6cm. Thankfully the increase in Pitocin did the trick and kicked my contractions up to the next level. However I was handling the pain with no pain meds in my system as I didn’t really want an epidural (no issues with them, just didn’t want the needle in my back) I pushed through until around midnight when I turned to my husband and said that I needed something to help with the pain. They at first just gave me stadol in my IV. I clearly remember asking the nurse as she was pushing the meds into my IV if that was going to take the edge off my pain and she looked at me and said “no sweetie, this will just relax you” and I remember thinking….that is not what I wanted to hear! About a ½ hour later, I still was not getting any relief so I asked the nurse for the epidural, and within a ½ hour I was being prepped for the epidural. After 6…yes 6 attempts at placing the Epidural, only my legs and one spot on my belly went numb. So I still had to fee every contraction. The only benefit that I think the epidural helped me was to fall asleep/ fully relax between contractions enough to fall asleep. At this point I was going on 20 hours of labor and 13 or so of that was with Pitocin in my system. All of a sudden I opened my eyes and looked at my husband and told him to get the nurse ASAP, I needed to push. So he paged her and they came in. At first they didn’t believe me that I needed to push, but agreed to check me again. And to their surprise I was complete and the baby was pretty low in the birth canal. They hurried to page the doctor to get to the hospital and get my room set up for delivery. After what felt like forever the doctor showed up and after just about 30 minutes of pushing, out came Jacob at 3:16am! I can remember the exact feeling I had right before the last push before he came out. I remember sitting there looking around at my husband and MIL, the doctor and nurses and thinking to myself that after this one last push my life would be changed forever! Jacob was born at 38 weeks 3 days.

With my son Eli, my birthing experience was SO much different! I had my usual weekly appointment with my doctor on a Tuesday afternoon, and I was 37 weeks. He went ahead and checked to see if I had started to dilate, and I was already at 2cm! By the time I left the appointment I was having contractions, but nothing really close together or super painful. I continued on my normal routine and just kept a mental note of the contractions that I was having. After playing outside with Jacob and having supper, the contractions started to get stronger and closer together. I decided to sit down on my birth ball and start to actually time them. After about 3 hours of contractions that were anywhere from 7 to as close as 2 minutes apart, I decided to try and take a shower. The contractions continued while I was in the shower. At this point my husband was leaving it up to me if I wanted to go to the hospital. But I just wasn’t sure that this was it, so I went to bed. The contractions continued and would wake me up about once an hour. This continued until the next morning, so my husband took Jacob to daycare for me so I could rest at home and keep him posted on how the contractions were going. Since the contractions were staying pretty steady at between 5 and 6 minutes apart for hours, I decided to go ahead and go in, so my husband came home from work and we headed to the hospital.

After getting all checked in and up to L&D, it was around 2:30pm on Wednesday. They got me checked in and checked to see if all the contractions had been making any progress and I was now at 4cm! I was at a completely different hospital (we moved states between pregnancies) and this hospital was very much a pusher of getting the mom out of bed and not strapping her in once she was there. They had me out walking, bouncing on a ball and I even had my own Jacuzzi tub in my room that I could use whenever I wanted to. So every hour or so I would walk a few laps, bounce on the ball, take a nice soak in the tub and then get monitored for 15 to 20 minutes. This continued all night and into the next day. Around 1:30 in the afternoon on Thursday the nurse came hustling into my room and said that they needed to check to see if I had made any more progress as my insurance had called and said they either had to fully admit me to the hospital or SEND ME HOME! Over the course of the day that I was there, I had only progressed another 2cm to 6cm, but Eli was still not fully locked into the birth canal so it wasn’t safe for the doctors to break my water. So since I had been at 6cm for hours and my contractions were still the same, they had to send me home. I was in total shock. I couldn’t believe that they would send me home when I was already 6cm dilated! So my husband packed me up and home we went. I got home and took a shower and went directly to bed. I was so tired from sleeping in the uncomfortable hospital bed, and from only getting about 5 hours of interrupted sleep. I slept for like 5 hours straight! It was wonderful! After getting up and eating, the contractions continued to come like they had been and I just kept track of them with my app on my phone. This continued the rest of Thursday, Friday and into Saturday. On Friday night, we took a long family walk around our neighborhood that caused some really good strong contractions, but I didn’t want to go back to the hospital and end up getting sent home again, so we just stayed home. Saturday afternoon we headed back out for another walk, but this time I could hardly make it one block the contractions were getting so strong. So we headed home. My husband and son went to take a nap, and I relaxed and kept timing the contractions. Around 5 on Saturday, I decided that I wanted to head back to the hospital as the contractions were not letting up. So we got in touch with our back-up baby sitter and dropped off Jacob around 7pm and headed right to the hospital. They got us checked in and into a room and checked to see what progress I had made and I was only a 7! I couldn’t believe it!

So we did the same walking/tub/birthing ball/monitoring routine all night Saturday into Sunday with them letting me get some sleep for about 4 hours in the middle of the night as best as I could with the contractions. On Sunday we continued the same routine until around 1:30 in the afternoon when the contractions were getting pretty painful. So at that time they finally fully admitted me to the hospital for delivery and started me on some IV pain meds. The pain meds would cause me to fall asleep for about 20 minutes within a couple minutes of them being pushed into my IV. I stayed on them from when they started until around 9am on Monday morning. At one point around 1am Monday, I was pretty sure that it was almost time due to how strong the contractions were getting and what I was feeling. However that wasn’t the case. When my doctor came to check on me around 8, he suggested that we use some Pitocin to kick my body into gear and get it to finish dilating the final 2cm that I needed to go to get the baby out. So when he said Pitocin, I said that I wanted an epidural. So they got everything set up and that is when the flood gates opened. I was so tired and all the negative memories from Jacob’s birth came flooding back to me and I just sobbed while they were setting up for the epidural. I finally got ahold of myself and the anesthesiologist was able to get the epidural placed in one single try! It was so wonderful! No more pain! After I was all nice and numb they started the Pitocin and it was nap time for me!

When my doctor came back on his lunch hour, he was able to finally break my water as Eli had finally engaged his head fully and wasn’t moving out of the birth canal. Contractions continued all afternoon, and my doctor came back after clinic hours to check me again. Thankfully I was getting really close, so he said “well I am going to head home and eat supper, and then will be back in about an hour and a half and then you can have this baby” And he was right! He returned at around 7:30 and at 8:06pm Eli finally graced this world with his presents! The most awesome part about his delivery is after his head was out, I reached down and helped pull him the rest of the way out. It was such a neat experience! It was one of the longest week of my life, but oh so worth it! I can’t believe that he will be 1 in just a few short weeks!

GHTime Code(s):

Krista’s Cholestasis Birth Story

Emily — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 16:00:51 +0000

Day 3 of my week of Birth Stories to celebrate the National Improving Birth Rally (held yearly on Labor Day).

Don’t worry if you missed any, you can always check them out here:

Elliana’s Home Birth Story

Why I Care About Improving Birth + My 2 Birth Stories

Today Krista shares her scary journey with an unexpected induction turned Csection due to Cholestasis. Thankfully regardless of not getting the birth she wanted, she had a happy ended with a beautiful baby! No matter how a baby comes into this world, all birth matters.

Below is Krista’s Birth Story.

I had an entirely too easy pregnancy, but I did start to notice some mild itchiness around 20 weeks. My midwife tested me for cholestasis at that point, but I did not have it. So I went along in my easy pregnancy, happy but itchy. She decided to recheck my levels at 37 weeks, just in case. At 38 weeks and one day, she called me to tell me that I had developed cholestasis of pregnancy, and my baby was now at risk of stillbirth.

The worst word you could ever say to a pregnant woman (in my opinion) is “stillbirth”. I had never said it aloud, like saying it could make it happen. But I thought about it at times during my pregnancy, because I’m paranoid in an awful way. So when she says I must be induced immediately, of course I started to cry.

Did I mention this was my husband’s birthday and he had plans to go to a STANLEY CUP PLAYOFF GAME!? Yep. I had to ruin that for him because my stupid body couldn’t handle HCG. So we head to the hospital, and they started me on cytotec, orally every 6 hours.

The whole time I kept telling my husband I did not want a c section. I kept reading birth stories online where the woman had a c section, and I told my husband all of my plans to avoid that. I took the cytotec every 6 hours, then every 4 hours, but a day passed with no progress. I wasn’t dilated or effaced, even though the cytotec had caused mild contractions. So, they attempted to do a membrane sweep. She couldn’t do it, so she tried to insert a foley bulb. That wouldn’t go in, I was literally NOT dilated, at all. That was not only a very uncomfortable experience, it also ended up having no benefit.

It had been a full day, and I was worried that whole time that she would die inside of me. You can’t tell a pregnant woman she is at risk of having a stillborn baby and expect her not to be in a panicked state until the baby is born safely. So, they started me on pitocin. Part of me was saying, no, that will lead to a c section, but the more logical part of me said yes, do whatever, and just get her out. I was on pitocin for an entire day, and ended up ½ of a cm dilated. Yep. That’s it. But at least I was now dilated enough to insert a foley bulb!

They put that in and immediately my contractions got worse. I also had my bloody show. I started walking more and faster! Lots of squats too, I was a motivated woman! I was so sure that my more serious contractions meant I had to be moving closer towards a vaginal birth. They checked me 24 hours later. I was no more dilated than when they first inserted it. The most crushing disappointment. 3 days indoors. Is my baby going to survive? Am I going to get out of here, ever? They inserted a second bulb, so that there is a bulb above and below my cervix, squeezing it. As soon as they blew the second one up, I began to have EXTREME contractions, every 3-4 minutes.

Did I want an epidural? Hell no – I read that can increase my chance of a c section! So I cried and walked and bounced and squatted and moaned through them for 6 hours. Then the midwife came in to check on me. I had to be at least at a 3 right? No. Still at a half centimeter. I was sobbing. They called in an OB and he let me know we had to do a c section. They took out the foley bulbs and my contractions stopped right away. Sweet relief, I fell asleep right away.

My husband woke me up an hour later and I was ushered into a surgery room, alone from my husband for the first time in days. I got an epidural, which wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be, and then my husband was brought in. He sat down by my head and they began with the procedure. How strange it was, I could feel the movement of them inside my body and on my skin, but no pain. They told me she was on her way out and then showed her to me. It was so quick especially compared to the past 4 days.

What a tiny baby, I thought (she was 7.7 – not that small actually!) then – OUCH. Immediately after they pulled her out, my chest and shoulders were screaming with pain. The anesthesiologist gave me something for the pain, which I later found out was morphine.

Because of the morphine, I don’t remember a lot of her first hours. I know I got skin time within minutes, but that I was scared I would drop her. I know she latched on right away. I was just happy it was over, she was safe and perfect and beautiful. I was in the hospital for 4 days during the induction process, and 2 days during the recovery process.

It was not ideal. But I got my ideal perfect daughter out of it. She really is perfect.

Krista S – Baby Girl Stella

What a beautiful ending and a beautiful family! Thank you Krista for sharing your birth story.

If you’d like your birth story featured on Our Knight Life please email it to familyandlifeinlv@gmail.com with 1-3 pictures and “Birth Story” in the header. I watermark the pictures not to claim them as my own, but to protect them on my blog.

GHTime Code(s):

Elliana’s Home Birth Story

Emily — Tue, 03 Sep 2013 16:58:58 +0000

Today begins a week filled with Birth Stories! As I shared yesterday I love reading birth stories and I want to celebrate yesterday’s National Improving Birth Rally with a week of all types of birth stories. Please remember not everyone makes the same choices when it comes to birth. The fact that we have choices is what makes birth beautiful! All birth matters!

Please note if reading about birth in detail or seeing pictures makes you uncomfortable I invite you to check out a different post.

Today Carly is sharing her beautiful home birth delivery of Elliana Madalyn!

The following birth story was written by Carly:

July 30th came and gone, and as uncomfortable as I was, I knew you weren’t ready to make your arrival yet so we waited, and waited, and waited.

On Sunday August 5, 2012 your lolli came into town in hopes of your soon arrival. That night we went to bed normally and up to this point I hadn’t felt any sure signs that you were coming.

Monday August 6th, we woke up at 5 am to get breakfast and take your daddy to work. After we took your dad to work we drove to Tehachapi to see Justine and sure enough, you began showing mommy you were ready to come out by sending contractions my way! By the time we got home a few hours later, I was sure you were coming.

As I laid in the bathtub breathing through each contraction all I could think about was holding you, kissing you, nursing you, and I couldn’t help but smile even through the pain. Holding my belly through each contraction to see if I could feel you making your way out, but all I felt was my tummy hard as a rock. I knew you were working just as hard inside as I was outside and I knew we were working together to meet each other very soon. By the time daddy came home from work I was in active labor and we knew we would meet you very very soon!

Daddy called Justine and told her that we were sure it was time and down the hill she came! I was sitting on the yoga ball inside the shower rocking and moaning when Justine arrived. I looked out of the shower and Justine gave me a faint smile and at that moment I knew it was safe for you to meet us!

The minutes turned into hours, day turned into night and then day once again. Active turned into transition and I was exhausted and ready to kiss you all over. After walking the halls all night, getting in and out of the tub, up and down off the bed I looked at the clock in the bathroom and it was 7am on Tuesday, August 7. I knew it had to be soon! I had so many emotions and to this day I don’t recall any of them being pain. I was excited, scared, tired and anxious, but all of those feelings finally led to pushing.

As I began pushing, time stood still. I felt like I wasn’t progressing at all. I looked up at your daddy and he had a tear in his eye and in a soft voice he told me “babe, she has hair!” He was thrilled that he could see you! Even though it was just the top of your head, you were really there and you were really coming to meet us within minutes! Finally I reached my hand down to you and I could feel all that hair!! Feeling the top of your head gave me that much more power to help you make your way out to us! Lolli, Mimi, Daddy, Justine and I were all waiting patiently to meet you! You found your way out to us all and it is like no feeling I have ever felt. You were perfect. Perfect in every way. You were mine. You were daddy’s. Nobody could ever take you away from us.

Elliana Madalyn Chavez I love you with every muscle of my body and my heart is forever yours! You, my baby girl, are the greatest thing that has every happened to me and August 7, 2012 will forever be my favorite day. You have shown me love like I have never seen before, and I hope that one day you will have this feeling. It is by far the greatest love in this crazy beautiful world.

Love always and forever, Mommy (Carly)

Thank you Carly for sharing your beautiful home/water birth story! Stay tuned tomorrow for another birth story!

GHTime Code(s):

Happy Labor Day | Improving Birth One Birth Story at a Time

Emily — Mon, 02 Sep 2013 10:37:42 +0000

“A woman, as long as she lives, will remember how she was made to feel at her birth.”
– Anna Verwaal, Doula – Business of Being Born (2008)

I know that I will never forget the day either of my sons were born. Each of them so different, and while their birth was the most amazing and joyous moments of my whole life, the delivery process was not at all what I expected it to be. Especially with my first son. I will never ever forget how I was made to feel both times I delivered my babies. Powerless and Powerful.

It’s hard to believe that last Labor Day I was 24 weeks pregnant and attending my first ImprovingBirth.org Birth Rally. While I had hoped to return this year and share my VBAC story with other moms I am traveling with my family. It was when I was pregnant with my second child that I began researching my birth options and found that simply having a vaginal birth after cesarean was not as easy as it should be. I began to read and become more informed on my birth rights, and was upset at what I saw with my own eyes in my own city. Hospitals and doctors denying women the right to have choices when it comes to delivering their babies. This rally was so moving and helped me to know I was on the right path for choosing the best birth for me.

At last years rally!

If there is one thing you should know about me it is that I am a firm believer in your body, your choice. However, in many parts of the country women don’t have a choice when it comes to delivery. C-section rates are at an all time high with few doctors even wanting to preform a VBAC delivery even if the hospital or insurance company lets them. This is why I believe that rallies like today’s national improving birth rally are so important. We as women need to know all our options and not blindly accept what others tell us. What works for one woman, may not for another. Whether you delivered naturally, with pain medicine, at home, in water, or via c-section, we all have the right to choose what birth experience is right for us.

I thought since I couldn’t be at the rally today, I would instead ask women to share their birth stories all week long on my blog. All kinds of stories. Both joyful and scary. Empowering, and frustrating. After all it is from other mothers we learn the most about how we can truly change the birthing system and that every birth is different, unique, and special.

This week you may read a story and think to yourself that that is NOT for you. That is okay!

Read, learn, enjoy, and most of all support each mother as they share the most special and amazing days of their lives.

You can read my birth stories here:

(Stories will be posted all week, and due to an overwhelming response I will continue to share one story a month. If you would like to share your story please email me at familyandlifeinlv@gmail.com.)

Do you remember how you were made to feel at your delivery?

GHTime Code(s):

The Perfect Birth Announcements from Jumping Jax Designs

Emily — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 07:18:51 +0000

Is there anything better than getting a sweet new baby birth announcement in the mail? They are so personal, beautiful, and the perfect way to share your new bundle of joy with everyone you love.

When K was born, I spent HOURS scouring birth announcements trying to find the perfect one. With a crazy three year old and deadlines I just didn’t have time for that this go-round. Lucky for me, I had found Becca over at Jumping Jax Designs. She has done several birthday invitations, logos, and designs for me. Every time I work with her I know she is going to listen to what I want and work with me to get exactly what I am hoping for.

This time I sent over a few pictures and a few thoughts and Becca quickly had two choices for me. I loved one, but asked for a few changes which she did very quickly! So instead of spending hours, I spent minutes and ended up with the PERFECT custom baby announcement.

Super cute right?

I love every inch of this birth announcement. I love that I took the pictures and she turned them into something super special. Now I just have to get it into a shadow box and put it where I can admire it in the moments I feel like life is flying by us.

Jumping Jax Designs is the place to go when you are looking for birth announcements, birthday invitations , holiday cards, blog designs, birth art, nursery art, or professional logo work. Becca will work with you until you have exactly the product you are hoping for.

Follow Jumping Jax Designs on Facebook – Tell her Emily from Our Knight Life sent you!

I paid for my birth announcements. I am sharing on my blog because I love Becca and the quality of work she puts into every project she takes on.

My VBAC Birth Story | Part 2

Emily — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 08:43:32 +0000

If you haven’t read Part 1 of my VBAC Birth Story you may want to start there before reading on here!

On December 5th I walked into the ER with my husband at about 9pm. We were immediately taken upstairs to Labor and Delivery, but despite asking several times, they were insistent on not allowing me to walk. After spending the short drive in the car and having several contractions, the last thing I wanted to do was sit down.

When we got upstairs I was taken to triage where I told the nurses I was hoping for a VBAC but was scheduled for a C-Section the following morning. When we walked into the hospital I had expressed to my husband my concern about not having made any progress. While I tried to have it come off as a joke, after laboring for 27 hours with my first son and never dilating past 4 cm, I was actually worried my body just couldn’t do it.

Turns out my worry wasn’t unfounded. I hadn’t made ANY change since my last check in my OB’s office despite having very regular and strong contractions on the monitor. I was still only 2 cm, soft, very high, and posterior. The second nurse came in a few minutes later and informed me that my OB was currently in an emergency C-Section and would be happy to move mine up once he was done.

I was CRUSHED.

This is not what I wanted. I wanted to give my body a chance to labor and see what would happen. I expressed my desires again, and was told I would have to wait to see what my OB wanted to do. They were very nice about it, but I couldn’t help but to be upset. I thought by going into labor on my own I would have my chance.

Nearly 30 minutes later the nurse came back in and told me my OB was willing to stay (he has to be on property when a patient is VBACing for safety reasons) overnight and see how my labor progresses. (Also since I had eaten right before I came to the hospital they couldn’t do the C-section right away regardless.) So, I was to be checked into the unit, and he would be back to break my water. If my labor didn’t pick up on it’s own and if I didn’t make significant change by my 7:30 am C-section appointment the following morning they would just proceed with the C-section. This seemed like a reasonable plan to me. Finally something to smile about.

At 10:00pm I was transferred to my room, and asked if I wanted an epidural. If I didn’t think there had been such a high chance I was going to go in for a C-section I may have chosen not to go ahead and get one, but at this time my contractions were taking my breath away and so I agreed.

The epidural was like heaven for about 1 hour. Then my body was so numb I couldn’t even move my legs. I hated this feeling with my first baby, and I hated it this time as well. I am truly not sure which was worse, the pain or the cement legs.

At 1am my OB came back to check my progress and found that I was dilated to a tight 4 cm. I was happy I was making some progress. However, my contractions were now really weird. I would have 5-6 contractions about 1 minute apart and then nothing for 5-7 minutes. So my OB said he would like to add some Pitocin to see if we couldn’t get my contractions in a more steady pattern. He then broke my water.

“Thick meconium.” Turns out my baby had had a very big bowl movement inside and I was informed that now the NICU team would be involved in his delivery so he didn’t aspirate any of the meconium. I was a bit worried and sad because now even if I had my VBAC there was a chance I still wouldn’t have my baby put to my chest right away.

Things weren’t about to get any better either…

After my OB left my nurse had me spend the next 2.5 hours laying flat and shifting from side to side in an effort to get my baby to turn so he was no longer posterior (sunny-side up) and get my contractions more regular. I was SO very uncomfortable. I kept asking to be allowed to sit up for a while, but was told I couldn’t until baby changed positions. Around 2:30 am I began to feel a lot of pain in my abdomen again. The baby also began to have trouble with my contractions, and each one brought a deceleration in his heart rate.

At first the pain was so intense I thought my C-section incision was ripping open. My nurse assured me this was not happening and agreed to call the Anesthesiologist back to re-dose me. In the meantime she put me on oxygen and had my continue to change from side to side.

By 3am I was shaking uncontrollably and was in tears from the pain and begging to sit up. The anesthesiologist came back and gave me another dose of the epidural, but it didn’t seem to be helping at all. Finally she asked that my nurse sit me up. Almost instantaneously my baby’s heart rate stopped having decels, and my pain began to get better. (Although it never completely went away.) I was also checked again and found to be 6 cm! This gave me tremendous hope. I was officially more dilated then I had ever been before.

Another amazing thing happened when they sat me up, my contractions settled into a serious pattern. No more 5-7 minute breaks between them. Baby was happy, and I was progressing. I tried to get some rest. About an hour later the nurse came back in and decided to have me change positions again and lay me on my back. I was not happy with this, and apparently neither was baby. Once I laid down baby started to have heart decelerations again. My OB came in and very seriously sat in front of the monitor and watched. In 8 minutes I had 6 contractions and each one brought a big drop in baby’s heart rate. My OB suggested letting me sit back up. He didn’t say it, but I know had this not worked we would have been down having an emergency C-section right away. However, my little stinker baby recovered very well once I sat up. He (like his mama) apparently really didn’t like laying flat.

At 7 am I began to notice that sharp pain returning. I told the nurse about it but seeing as my legs were so numb I wouldn’t know I had any if I couldn’t see them I didn’t want to top off the epi and more. I was already worried about how I’d be able to push. At about 8am I was told that I was now 9 cm! I was also informed at this time that there was another woman on the floor who was also having a VBAC and also dilated to 9cm. We were in a race to the finish as we both shared the same doctor! The nurses got a kick out of how similar our pregnancies were. We were both due on the 6th with our second baby, both having boys, both had previous long labors and a poor C-section experience, both had meconium in the water, and both had gestational diabetes. If I wasn’t in so much pain at this time I am sure this would have made me smile.

Turns out she beat me, and a 9am I was dilated to almost 10 cm save for a small lip of cervix left. It was that lip that made it so she got to deliver with our OB first. In the meantime my new nurses asked me to start trying some pushes. I ended up being so effective at pushing they told me I had to stop and wait until my Dr. was in the room.

WHAT! Stop pushing?

I’m sorry, but that is the cruelest thing you can ask a woman to do when there is a baby bearing down on her bottom and ready to enter this world.

I was told to breath through my contractions. During my pushing and contractions I became a very internal person. I had my eyes closed most of the time and felt like I was on the outside listening into my body and the nurses. Every few contractions they would allow me to push a bit so baby didn’t slip back up to much.

At this point my epidural had completely worn off down my middle and I could feel everything except my legs! As a result, I began to notice I was getting really nauseous and asked for a bag. Except when I opened my eyes to ask again, no one was there – all three nurses in the room had stepped back to do something in another corner of the room and my husband had gone to check on something as well. I again stated really loudly I needed a bag because I was going to be sick.

The next thing I knew my husband was walking over to me, I looked up at him and proceeded to throw up all over him and in his face.

I was mortified.

Did I really just puke all over my husband?

I have to give that man major credit, as he held the bag until a nurse took over for him and he quietly walked into the bathroom to change. He knew I didn’t mean to, but I’m not sure I would have handled that as well as he did!

Turns out throwing up is a great way to move the baby down! I was very close to delivering, and thankfully my OB came in not too much later. Right away he said my baby was still posterior and began to manually turn him with my contractions and pushing. Everything seemed to be going great. I was even told to touch my baby’s head as he was almost here. (Super cool feeling!)

Then all of a sudden my OB asked for the vacuum. I had thought I was one contraction away from delivering my baby, and didn’t understand what was happening. With in seconds my baby’s head was out and the Dr. announced that I needed to stop pushing and that the cord was wrapped twice around my baby’s neck very tightly.

After a few tense moments (which seemed like eternity to me), I was told to push again, and in an instant my baby was placed up on my chest. He was so warm, and that moment was something I will never forget in my entire life. My beautiful little boy was here and in my arms.

He cried right away and so did I. Everyone was telling me how big he was, but all I could say was “He’s so small!” He seemed long and skinny to me! After all my first son was a short super chunk of a baby! The NICU was in the room ready to help, and told me they needed to take him away and asses him for meconium aspiration.

Turns out my little man is as much of a fighter as he is stubborn. He scored 9/9 on his APGAR, and had no problems with his breathing. He also didn’t have a single low blood sugar. I would be allowed to hold him instead of him going to the nursery, and more importantly breastfeed him.

Deacon Niklas was born at 10:12am on December 6th weighing 9lbs 4ozs and was every inch of perfection.

Having my VBAC with all it’s ups and downs was every bit as amazing and awesome as I hoped it to be. The moment he was placed on my chest was a moment I will never forget for the rest of my life, and made every rough moment in the labor virtually disappear!

The recovery has been amazing compared to my C-section and I was up at walking in a matter of hours. However, I did have a pretty big tear, so healing has taken time. I’m glad I was able to have the delivery I wanted, and without an OB who wanted the same I am pretty sure that wouldn’t have been a possibility. I was told a few days later by the nurse who checked me in that the nurses all gave me about a 10% chance of a successful VBAC based on my initial exam.

Baby D did later end up developing Jaundice. The Pediatrician felt like it was a result of his hematoma due to his vacuum delivery, but asked to keep him in the hospital an extra night, and had us go to see him the day after we were released to monitor his levels.

My little boy, no matter how he came into this world is perfect. I worried pretty much my whole pregnancy how I was going to find the love for a second baby like I have for my first son. Everyone reassured me it would happen. It did. The moment he burst into this world he stole my heart. The second his brother looked at him and smiled up at me, it was sealed for life.

This little boy is sealed to me for life. Mine forever, and the joy that brings me is immeasurable.

I am so blessed, and maybe a little bit crazy because I can already picture doing this all over again!

GHTime Code(s): nc

Baby Be Mine for Maternity, Nursing, & Layette | Review

Emily — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 23:55:11 +0000

One of the first things I remember when thinking back to my time in the hospital after the birth of my first son was how horrible the hospital gowns were. They were just not very comfortable, and certainly didn’t do anything for anyone. After spending 4 days in one, I couldn’t stand the thought of another hospital stay like that.

When I was packing my labor and delivery bag I was excited to include several items from Baby Be Mine to help make my hospital stay as comfortable as possible.

The first thing I did after the birth of my son was take a shower and put on my Gownie.

What’s a Gownie?

A Gownie is a designer hospital maternity gown that are the perfect alternative for any pregnant woman who wants to be comfortable yet stylish during labor. Approved by the hospital staff, these birthing gowns have snaps on the back to cover from top to bottom and have off the shoulder snaps on both sides for easy access for medical examination and breastfeeding.

Made with 100% cotton or 100% organic cotton, our maternity gowns combines fun and functionality just like our other maternity apparel. Available in 3 different sizes, these maternity hospital gowns will fit you perfectly. Now you know why these Gownies are so popular among celebrities and a must-have in every hospital bag.

While many women do choose to labor in these gowns, I wanted to save mine for my hospital stay. I liked how easy it was to breastfeed in the gown, and knew that when my friends came to see me in the hospital I wouldn’t look so run down in the maternity gown that the hospital provides.

It may be just a simple hospital gown, but to me it made me feel more pulled together, clean, and like myself. Having a baby is a time of celebration, why should I wear what you have to wear when you are sick? The Gownies are fun yet functional outfit for one of the happiest time in your life. Since they come in both organic and regular cotton the price point is perfect for everyone. I highly recommend looking into making sure you have one for your hospital stay or even delivering at home! Gownies come in many different prints and start at $19.99,

Additionally I was able to bring the cutest layette outfit for Baby D. Baby Be Mine offers polka dot layette gowns (in blue and pink) for your newborn with a matching hat. I thought it was fun that we matched, and the nurses on the labor and delivery floor did too, as they kept popping by my room to see our matching outfits and complimenting me on the design of the Gownie!

Baby Be Mine also has clothing for nursing. I packed a simple pair of nursing lounge wear in my hospital bag and have kept them in steady rotation at my home since. They are the most comfortable pajamas, allow me easy access when nursing Baby D, and best of all even after several washes the pants have not shrunk in length at all! Every pajama I buy seems to have a I have even worn the top out with jeans! If they carried them in more colors I’d buy one of each!

In addition to the stylish Gownies, Layettes, and nursing lounge wear, Baby Be Mine also carries belly bands and maternity tops that also work as nursing tops. It’s a great shop for moms during every trimester, delivery, and beyond!

You can find Baby Be Mine online, Facebook and Twitter! Be sure to follow them for news of new products and sales!